Life in the Woods.

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Seven Rules For Tumblr Writers

1. Cut The Fat: No one wants to read a long, grueling post. If you want to be read, keep your posts skinny.

2. Make It Shiny: Tumblr is visual. Make your writing visual. Poetry is appealing- so are lists and pictures. No blocks of text!

3. Short Sentences Win: This is not the place for semicolons and lengthy sytax. Meet the dash- a great  informal solution.

4. Say Something: What are you giving your followers? Is it entertainment, information or something to relate to? Say Something. 

5. Title: Your title is your hook, your lead. Make it shout. Give it humor, an opinion, a bit of satire. Give it something.

6. Skinny Paragraphs:  Make your paragraphs short and frequent. Don’t be afraid of one-sentence paragraphs— They demand attention.

7. Features: Write for yourself. Don’t worry about intellects or the editor’s watchful eye. Write for you, the everyman. The features will come, and if they don’t- they’re missing something brilliant.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting —
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

By Mary Oliver

Three Authors With Really Horrible Lives.

1. Edgar Allen Poe:  He married his 13 year-old cousin, gambled  away  his inheritance and was almost always intoxicated. But who could blame him? His father left,  his mother died, his foster father abused him and he watched each of his wives, starting with the 13 year-old, die dramatically.

2. The Brontes: Even disregarding the alleged sexual abuse, the Bronte tale is captivatingly miserable. The two eldest died as infants, Brother Branwell became an opium addict and an alcoholic. Emily and Anne  died in their late twenties of tuberculosis, and Charlotte, after an affair with her professor, died in childbirth at age 39. 

3. Earnest Hemingway: Hemingway went insane. He was convinced the FBI was monitoring him and was eventually checked into a mental hospital. He was  treated with electric shock 15 times and released  ”in ruins”. Three months later he was found holding a pistol to his temple and readmitted for more EST- two days later he shot himself in the head.


Read Some Of Their Short Stories (For Free!)

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

- Earnest Hemingway

Popular Books That Annoy Me.

1. The Twilight Saga 
2. Wuthering Heights 
3. Eat, Pray, Love 
4. Mockingjay
5. Wicked
6. The Notebook
7. Romeo and Juliet
8. My Sister’s Keeper
9. Ethan Frome
10. The Great Gatsby

Disagree?

Message me- Let’s launch an epic debate.

4 Short Storys You’ll Never EVER Forget.

1. “A Good Man Is Hard To Find” By Flannery O’Connor
http://pegasus.cc.ucf.edu/~surette/goodman.html 

2. “The Lottery” By Shirley Jackson
http://www.classicshorts.com/stories/lotry.html 

3. “The Snow of Kilimanjaro” By Earnest Hemingway
http://xroads.virginia.edu/~drbr/heming.html 

4. “A Rose For Emily” By William Faulkner
https://flightline.highline.edu/tkim/Files/Lit100_SS2.pdf 

READ THEM! It’s 10 minutes of literary bliss :)

A Book Worm’s Valentine.

"What are you doing for valentines day?", my phone shivered with a probing  text, it was James, a friend/not-really-lover.

"Reading"

Yep- I’m spending Valentines with a cup of Chamomile tea, utterly alone, speed reading Miss Austen.

Pride and Prejudice, Emma, and Sense and Sensibility: ah! a wide array of true romance; instead of muling over dinner and sifting through small talk i’ll be lounging in a giant grey t-shirt with Dear George Knightly.

"That’s pathetic", he responded.

No silly teenager, it isn’t- Valentines day is dedicated to  love; I love books, I love Mr Dashwood. I love relationships formed on breath taking dialogue not tongue-jabbing hookups, i love endless letters and pages of soliloquies!

So James, if you want to storm into my room  and recite an epic monologue extolling my virtues, i’ll gladly join you for dinner - otherwise, i’m stickin to Darcey :)

Four Simple Writing Tips

1) Less is More. People simply won’t read your work if it’s long; unless the sentence has an arguable purpose, cut it.

2) Be Cocky. Writing is all about ego; if you think you’re a good writer, chances are your work will turn out decent. Breath, Relax and do a little pump up dance- it’s just a pen and paper.

3) Write like yourself. Tumblr is filled with preteens trying to sound like 60 year old men; don’t dress your writing up, don’t stuff your words with complex syntax- you’re probably a pretty cool person under that cheesy metaphor.

4) Be Weird. People like odditys; What makes you different from the rest of the posts clogging your dashboard?

Feb 3

Classics That Don’t Make You Want To Kill Yourself

"Turn of the Screw" 
by Henry James

Warning: This book will scar you for life. This isn’t just a horror story, it’s a twisted gothic tale saturated in ambiguity; pedophiliac ghost, sexually deprived governesses and creepy little children. But the real horror lies in the narration, you don’t know  if these events are actually happening. Is our narrator slowly going insane, or are the ghosts slowly corrupting her?

Length: 102 Pages
Genre: Horror/ Ghost Story
Published: 1898
Why you should read it: Henry James is one of the key literary figures of 19th century realism, he’s highly acclaimed and a great author to name drop. The book is also good, really good.
How you should read it: Read slowly, this isn’t a book you can skim through and get the full effect. Its only one hundred pages so take your time. Pour over paragraphs and ask questions- analyze. Expect complicated writing and wacky syntax.
Fair Warning: The majority of this book is suspense, don’t expect mind bending action- little things begin to go awry and slowly mount to a fantastic ending that’s so understated yet mind blowing! Ah! I love this book!
One Sitting: You could, I didn’t. Read the exposition, which has no relevance to the story, sleep, and read as much as you can get through.
Where Can I Get it:

http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Screw-ebook/dp/B004UJIUD6/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327110481&sr=1-2
http://books.google.com/books/about/The_turn_of_the_screw.html?id=yP4Jjd-cHgwC 

Free Audio: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/26285

Happy Reading :)